Before and After

Six Month Update

So here I am sitting at work thinking, "Hm, I haven't posted anything to my blog in a while. The next thing I should probably do is a six month update, whenever that rolls around..." and then I realized, November 14th would've been the six month mark! I honestly can't believe it's been six months already. It seems like the whole thing went by so quickly. August of 2014 was when I first started exploring jaw surgery, September and October I had some consultations, and then May 2015 I had my surgery, and here we are November 2015, all the way on the other side of it all, and back to normal life.

At this point, I don't really think about my jaw or my face much at all. The feeling in my chin and the right half of my lower lip has not returned yet, so I still find myself wiping my lip/chin every once in a while just to make sure I don't have any drool that I can't feel! I also have yet to bite into an apple, but I don't really eat apples anyway. I'm back to eating everything normally, and have been for a few months now. I'm pretty sure I started eating hard/crunchy things before I was "supposed to" but I don't really know. Every once in a while I get a tingly sensation in my chin, which I assume is the nerves trying to reconnect. I also have a little pain/sensitivity in my right second tooth from the middle sometimes when I bite into things, and if I push on it. I don't know if that is even related, but I will ask my surgeon about it when I see him in December. It's not anything that bothers me constantly, just something I notice every once in a while.

As far as opening my jaw, I'm at about 3.5 fingers right now, compared to less than one finger when I first took my rubber bands and splint out.

My 3.5 year old nephew bashed his head into my jaw the other day and nothing happened, so that's good! Haha.

I had a sinus infection this week and it was much easier to get through than it had been before surgery. My nose would get clogged up so easily, but this time around, I always had at least one clear nostril, and a partially clear one, rather than a completely stuffed one and a partially stuffed one, lol. In the car on the way home from work one day when my nose was stuffy, I held my mouth shut and tried to breathe just through my stuffy nose, to remind myself what I went through the first week after surgery. I kept it up for a good two minutes but couldn't shake the panicky feeling, and then I took a nice deep breath through my mouth and remembered the feeling of breathing through my new airway for the first time after surgery. Truly amazing!

On another note, I got married! I haven't even posted any pictures on Facebook yet, so if you decided to read this, you get a special sneak preview! Here are a few photos that show a couple different angles of my face. It's nice to be able to say that I truly felt like a beautiful bride. I was smiling my face off all day and never once felt uncomfortable or had to put my hand over my mouth. I love being normal! :D

This might be my last blog post for a while, so I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has been with me along this journey. Based on my thousands and thousands of views, I know that there were a lot of people who were following along every step of the way and making sure that I was okay. Words can't express how much that means to me. What I went through is something that most people never even have to think about in their lifetime, let alone experience it, or watch someone they know experience it. So I hope that you learned a lot about how much of a struggle it can be to have a facial structure that just didn't come out quite right. It can cause a lot of health problems, as well as insecurity. Jaw placement that is a few millimeters off can cause pain, disfunction, and difficulty breathing, something that we take for granted everyday. During the process of healing after jaw surgery, I was having trouble breathing, I couldn't eat, and I couldn't talk, three things that I definitely take for granted everyday. On the other hand, throughout this process, I've had to face a lot of judgement that I didn't expect to face. There is such a paradox in the fact that society places such a high value on beauty, and yet condemns people who want to permanently change something about their body. It's been really hard for me to make peace with my decision to have surgery, because while I was doing it to improve my quality of life and avoid inevitable health issue in my later years, I will not deny that I was very unhappy with my face and felt insecure every day. I didn't like to smile. And I firmly believe that no one should ever have to feel afraid to smile. And yet, I was afraid of the judgement that would come with the decision to correct my jaws. After the fact, however, I can honestly say that the quality of my life has improved greatly following this experience, and I no longer waste time thinking about my insecurities or crying because I just spent an hour doing my hair and makeup and still think I look weird. And no matter what anyone else thinks, I'm happy with the decision I made, and with the person I've become. There's no doubt that I've changed as a result of this procedure; I've become someone who feels confident about my appearance, and therefore, about myself as a whole. Before my surgery, I defined myself by my appearance. I used to worry that people couldn't see past the way that I looked. Now, I believe that my appearance no longer distracts from who I am, and all that I have to offer. And I'm truly excited to face the world and the future as a confident, intelligent young woman, no longer insecure and uncomfortable.

Thank you again to all of my friends, family, and acquaintances who've been on this journey with me, and to anyone who has stumbled across this blog in your own research about jaw surgery, I really hope that you found whatever you were looking for! And please, feel free to contact me on Facebook if you have any questions :) Facebook.com/stacy.sprindis

The Unexpected Side of Jaw Surgery...

This is something that I've been wanting to address for quite some time now. There is a side of jaw surgery that I was not prepared for, that I did not read about in any other blogs or articles. Anybody that has been keeping up with my experience is fully aware of the important medical implications of my surgery, as well as the aesthetic ones. So for anyone who thinks I got jaw surgery just because I did not like the way I looked, let's set the record straight right now:

1. First and foremost, I could not have afforded this surgery if it wasn't covered by medical insurance.
2. Secondly, I would never in a million years have gotten most of the bones in my face severed and moved around just for looks.
3. Finally, it's not wrong that I wasn't happy with the way my overgrown upper jaw and my recessed lower jaw looked prior to surgery.

Before I got jaw surgery, I was under the impression that everyone would know that I needed the surgery for medical reasons and would be very understanding. However, this was not the case. Unfortunately, most people have no idea what jaw surgery is. It isn't very common because most people's jaws grow properly, and many people whose jaws grow abnormally do not experience any issues until they're middle-aged and don't want to go through such a major operation. Because it's not common, most people don't know anything about jaw surgery or it's implications. Also, most people don't care to figure out why others do the things they do; they just see what's on the surface and think what they want to think.

I know there are many people who have been keeping updated on my journey and have shown nothing but support, and I owe those people much gratitude. It was a very scary and character-building experience, and support from my family and friends was much-needed. However, there are also many people who have probably heard in passing, "Did you hear Stacy got surgery on her face? She doesn't even look like the same person," and of course, that puts a certain false impression in their heads immediately.

In addition to people who've been subject to gossip or simply extreme lack of information, there are also people who have negative opinions about the surgery, despite being fully informed. This is what I was not prepared for. To give you an idea of the extent of this issue, my fiancé had someone request that he postpone our wedding to take some time to figure out who the "new Stacy" is.

Ouch.

That situation opened my mind up fully to the possibilities of what people might think of me at this point. There are probably a lot of people who can't get past the fact that I look very different, and that I voluntarily underwent a surgery that would make me look like a different person. And I know it's hard to get past those ideas when you aren't experiencing it for yourself, like me, Corey, my family, and all the people close to me did. That is why I hope a lot of people are taking the time to read this, if not my whole blog, to get informed about this procedure and the effect it has on people's lives.

Here are some important points that I want to leave you with:

• I got jaw surgery because my upper jaw was overgrown and my lower jaw was consequently too far back, causing my tongue to obstruct my airway. My airway was 4mm wide before surgery, and is now about 11mm wide. (see picture below for comparison) While I wasn't having any serious issues now because of my jaw positioning, I would have been at a very high risk of developing sleep apnea and TMJ in my late adult years, had I not gotten the surgery. And who wants to go through major facial surgery at age 60?
• I was happy about the fact that the surgery would improve my facial aesthetics as well, because I did not particularly like the fact that I showed more gums than teeth when I smiled, and that I didn't have much of a jaw line. However, the aesthetic part of the surgery was just icing on the cake, not something I would've done without medical necessity.
• If you had the opportunity to change something you didn't like about yourself, you would. Don't lie to yourself. Women put on make up and do their hair everyday to improve their looks. Men, women, and children alike wear clothes that they feel make them look good. There are countless make up techniques designed to make cheek bones look more defined, eyes look bigger, foreheads look smaller, noses look smaller, eyelashes look longer, etc. etc. Women wear push-up bras, corsets, and heels to make their chest look bigger, their waist look smaller, and their legs look longer. Is there anything wrong with any of that? No. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful, and as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, physically or psychologically, there's nothing wrong with doing what you can to feel good about the way you look. 
• I talked extensively with my fiancé and other loved ones before I decided to have surgery. I knew very well that my surgery would not only impact me, but my loved ones as well, especially my fiancé. He'd been in love with me (and my face) for three years, and he would have to live with the outcome of my surgery. However, he knew that it was important to me and my health, and he proposed to me knowing that I was going to have jaw surgery. We made the decision together, and he's been nothing but supportive. It took a few weeks for him to get used to my new face (mind you, I was un-swelling during those weeks), but he loves me for the woman I am, not the woman I look like.
• I have changed since my surgery, and I will continue to change throughout my life. As a result of my surgery, I can breathe better and have lost weight as well, which means I am getting much more active and healthy. I also have more confidence in myself, and I actually enjoy seeing pictures and videos of myself (oh no!). I'm no longer afraid to smile (well, I'm getting there). However, I still have an inferiority complex because of the years I spent knowing my face was not normal, and I doubt that will go away any time soon. So for anyone who is afraid I'm going to suddenly become really shallow and obsessed with myself, I really hope you know me better than that! If I'd gotten this surgery when I was thirteen when it was first mentioned to me, that may have been a bigger concern, but I'm very secure with who I am at this point in my life. I know who I am. And while there are a few small changes in my personality directly relating to my surgery (positive ones, might I add!), my face does not define who I am. My identity is not based in my appearance. I will continue to change and grow, all throughout my life, and that would've been so whether or not I had jaw surgery.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and if you still have any questions or reservations, please do not hesitate to talk to me! Sit down and have lunch with me; you'll see that I'm still the same old Stacy, just a little happier and healthier! I just bought a Pikachu hoodie the other day, I still love Chick Fil A, and I'll still drop anything for anyone that need me, no matter what I'm doing. See? Still me. :)

How long has it been?? (Weeks 8-12ish)

It's been a while since I've posted an update! Things have gotten completely back to normal, so time is flying by!

The biggest event that's occurred since my last update is that I got my arch bars taken off! Ahh, what a wonderful day that was. Arch bars are nothing like braces. Don't get me wrong, they were exactly painful or anything, but they were definitely uncomfortable. When I got braces back in the day, it took me a day or two to get used to them, then I couldn't feel them at all. With arch bars, they're basically sewn under your gums, so they're tucked under your lips and you can kinda feel them all the time. They also consist entirely of hooks (because they're surgical braces), and the hooks can cut into your lips a little bit. Again, nothing gory or excruciating, but I definitely had to be careful not to move my lips too too much to avoid the friction. Also, EVERYTHING got stuck in those things. It was extreme. I had to make sure I could at least rinse my mouth out any time I ate, if not brush my teeth.

So anyway, I got the arch bars removed the day before my 8-week mark. I was able to stop wearing my splint and rubber bands about a week or two prior to that. My surgeon wanted to keep the bars on until at least 7-weeks just in case. I had to be put to sleep for the removal, but it was really quick, and I recovered in no time. My gums were a little red and there were a few little scratches, but nothing painful or noticeable!

With the removal of the arch bars, I was pretty much finished with my process, technically. The only thing I still have to have done is a little filing on a few of my bottom teeth. It's nearly impossible to get the bite perfect with orthognathic surgery, that's why most people get it done with braces. So all of my teeth touch, but there is definitely at least one tooth that is significantly higher than the others on the bottom. My dentist will take care of the in a few weeks and I'll be good to go!

I'm at the 12-week mark this Thursday coming up. I'm eating just about everything these days. I've yet to bite into an apple, just out of caution. I'm technically not supposed to eat super-hard foods yet I don't think, but I haven't really been paying much attention! I feel completely normal when it comes to eating, so I'll find myself crunching away on a crouton and then think, "Wait, am I even supposed to be eating croutons?"

Still waiting on my chin nerves to wake up. That includes most of my bottom lip. I'll still wind up with little pieces of food on my lip that I can't feel (that someone will eventually point out to me), but other than that it's not anything that I couldn't live with. My surgeon said that since my nerve endings are inside the bone like they're supposed to be, I shouldn't have any issues with my nerve regeneration. It's just a matter of time! My gums are still numb as well, which was definitely a plus for me recent dentist visit. I was a little worried when I got there because I forgot that I still can't open my mouth all the way. I can fit two fingers (sideways) in my mouth at this point. It didn't wind up being a problem though. My jaw was a little sore after having to hold it open for a while for my cleaning, though! Gotta remember to work on my stretches! ;)

Well, that's about it for now. Here are pictures from 9 weeks and 11 weeks. :)

Weeks 4-6

Wow, I can't believe it's been three weeks since I've posted an update! For the first few weeks, everything in my life revolved around surgery and recovery. But all of a sudden, I was back to normal life.

As of week 4, I didn't have to wear my splint during the day anymore. I was so happy to finally be free! I also found out I was allowed to start chewing things, and now, week 6, I'm pretty much eating everything I used to. Some things I still have to cut up small, like for instance a cheeseburger, because I still can't open my mouth very far. My surgeon told me to do stretches three times a day to try to get my jaw opening up wide again.

I really don't have much to report other than that! Like I said, like is pretty much back to normal. I went back to work during week 4 and I've been cracking down on wedding preparations. Only about three months to go. :)

I'm scheduled to get these lovely arch bars off my teeth on July 8th, right before the 8 week mark. I don't have to wear my splint at all anymore as of today. Once the arch bars are off, I just need to get a few of my teeth sanded down a tiny bit so that my bite fits together better. My teeth aren't quite touching on the left side, but I can barely notice. My surgeon said that we can fix it either by sanding down a few teeth or getting Invisaline. Whatever is cheaper!

I still have some swelling, plus the arch bars pushing my lips out a tiny bit, but it could take months for the swelling to go down completely. Just waiting on the nerves in my chin and bottom lip, as well as my gums and the roof of my mouth, which I just recently noticed are also numb. Obviously not that big of a deal if it took me over a month to notice!

That's about it, here are my week 4 pictures! I didn't take any since then because nothing has really changed. :)

Days 14-18

Week three is well underway and I'm feeling great! I can't believe how fast my recovery is going and how great I'm feeling at this point. The biggest problem I've had is just anxiety when I try to go to sleep at night. I'm just ready to get back to normal life! But at least I'm progressing well and time is going by pretty quick. I have another appointment with Dr. Lanzi tomorrow and starting Thursday I get to take my splint out three times a day for two hours each time instead of one hour.

I've been doing great with eating (not surprised!). I've been eating a lot of Macaroni and Cheese, also potato soup, rice, mashed potatoes, eggs, and even broccoli! I could only eat the top part of the broccoli, but still, I was very happy! :) I'm not sure when I will be allowed to start chewing, but at this point I've figured out that I can eat anything that's cut small enough to swallow whole. You'd be surprised how many foods you can swallow whole! (Don't try it though, I don't want anyone to choke  on anything!!)

I've been much more active this past week since I've been getting my energy back. I've been driving places, chasing around kittens, playing frisbee in the yard, and yesterday I even hit the volleyball around with my brother for a good half hour. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be doing that but I think I'm good enough at volleyball that I know I won't get hit in the face just hitting the ball back and forth!

Here's my pictures and some highlights from my week!

Day 14: I'm not sure why I look so sad! Just wanted to do a non-smiling picture that day I guess! You can definitely tell I have more swelling on the left side of my face, but the swelling seems to be going down fast! Anyway, this was Thursday, and I went to watch my volleyball team's game. Afterwards, we all went out to eat, and everyone was quite amused watching me eat my Mac and Cheese! It was made with penne pasta so I had to cut each piece in half long-ways so I could swallow it easier. Needless to say, I hardly put a dent in my pasta by the time everyone else was done eating!

Day 15: Friday I had lots of visitors! My friend came over in the morning, and my cousins came over in the afternoon and stayed all day. After we talked for a little bit (while my splint was out), we went outside to play Frisbee and wound up finding a baby Blue Jay! It was more like a fledging, as it had all of it's feathers. We found him sitting on the ground, and we were worried that my cat would get to him, so we tried to teach him how to fly. We were throwing him off the deck and catching him on an outstretched blanket. He was doing pretty good, but wasn't quite flying away. We fed him some worms and water, and eventually put him back where we found him. My mom saw him sitting in a different part of the yard the following day, so hopefully he was doing good and has learned how to fly by now!

^These pictures really show how swollen my upper lip has been. It's not that bad, but it's definitely noticeable. I think the arch bars are also making my lips protrude a little more than they otherwise would.

Day 16: Saturday I slept in pretty late! Then Corey and I went to breakfast and did some shopping. We bought some things for the wedding, and got some gifts for my cousins' going away party, which is where we spent the rest of the evening. That's where I passed the volleyball around with my brother. This is also the day that I started to notice some feeling coming back in the left side of my lower lip! Yay! Still waiting on my chin and right cheek, though.

 Day 17: Sunday I went to church for the first time since surgery. Everyone was happy to see me. :) They've been praying for me, and I'm so grateful for all of their support! I wasn't feeling too great on Sunday (not because of surgery so much as mother nature) so it was a lazy day after that. I took a nap for an hour or so before lunch, then watched TV the rest of the day. In the evening, I played video games with my fiancé and my brother before bed.

 Day 18: Today! Monday! Woo! Everyone is at work, and my Daddy is with my Grandmom, so I'm all alone today! Pretty much for the first time since surgery. When I woke up, I took a shower, and then drove over to Alfred Angelo to order the last of my bridesmaids' dresses for the wedding. I can't wait until they all come in! After that I went to visit Corey for lunch. I had a Boost, my favorite. ;) I'm trying to stick with having a Boost for one of my three meals because I don't want to overeat when my body isn't used to taking in so many calories. I don't want to put all the weight I just lost back on. Hopefully I'll be allowed to go back to the gym soon so I can get toned up in addition to losing a little more body fat. What better time to get in shape than before my wedding, right?!

I almost forgot! Here are my babies, Milo and Remy! I love them so much <3

Day 13

Today was another good day (as you can imagine). I drank a Boost for breakfast because I had to use one of my three hours to talk at the animal shelter. Since I'm getting my energy back, but can't quite go back to work yet, I decided to get some foster kittens. I've been fostering for a long time. All three of my cats were fosters that we decided to keep. I've probably had over 50 kittens altogether. I really have no idea. But anyway, I'll post some pictures of the two little guys later. Still trying to think of good names!

As for my meals today, I finished some leftover potato soup for lunch, and then I had my FAVORITE thing ever, potato pancakes for dinner! My family is Polish and my parents' recipe is awesome. I'm not sure if potato pancakes are considered to be as soft as scrambled eggs, but I had no problem mashing the pieces up with my tongue, which I assume is the point of the soft foods (no chewing). It's still tough to eat because I can only open my mouth about an inch, not even. I also have to look in a mirror while I'm eating because I have to be very careful. Also my bottom lip is still numb and I would definitely make a mess if I didn't watch what I was doing!

So I can feel my left cheek and bottom eyelids! That means the only numb spots I have left are my whole chin, my bottom lip, my right cheek (right next to my nose), and the right corner of my top lip. But with feeling comes pain. That's not to say the pain is bad or any worse than it's been, but I can definitely feel soreness in my bottom jaw. Also, the tension from the rubber bands that are holding my jaws shut is making my teeth sore. Overall I'd say the discomfort level is about a 3. Which is pretty amazing considering everything they did to my face! 

I feel the need to point out how much ice cream and milkshakes I haven't eaten. I really thought that I'd have like, a milkshake a day! But I wasn't really able to get any milkshake through my teeth during the first period of my recovery, not to mention the last thing I wanted was anything milk-based with all the protein shakes I was drinking. I know they don't actually contain milk but my stomach would beg to differ. And even the past two days, people have brought me ice cream and milkshakes but once I'm done my meal I don't have any time or room in my stomach to eat them! When you only have three brief chances to eat in a day, you are much more particular about what you eat in that small time slot!

Well, that's about all for today, here are my pictures!

DAY TWELVE!!!!!

Today was the big day! The day I've been desperately waiting for, well, twelve days! I had my second post op appointment today and I got to open my mouth for the first time since surgery! If you've ever seen Hocus Pocus, I felt like Billy the zombie when he cut the stitches that were holding his mouth shut and he coughed out dust and leaves! It was the craziest feeling. The best part was feeling my new airway. Obviously, it's been great breathing through my nose, but it was absolutely amazing breathing through my mouth! Every breath felt so easy and full and wonderful. As you can imagine, it's pretty tough to open my mouth because my jaw was just operated on and then sat shut for almost two weeks. It was kinda scary trying to open my jaw because it feels really unsteady. I still have a lot of healing to do, but I'm so happy with my progress.

At this point, my swelling has gone down a lot, but there's definitely still a good deal of it. Some swelling can remain for up to about 6 months, so I may not really see the finished product for a while, but honestly, I'm already really happy with the way I look. My gums aren't showing all the time, my nose isn't droopy, and I have a jawline! Did I mention I CAN BREATHE!?

Oh, the BEST part of today....I GOT TO EAT REAL FOOD! I've never been so excited for anything in my life. I'm now allowed to take my rubber bands off and take my splint out for one hour, three times a day for the next nine days to eat. My parents and my fiancé and I went out to Houlihan's right after my appointment so I could have potato soup. It was awesome. I had to pour out all the soup onto a plate and mash up all the potatoes and I was only able to finish half of the little bowl of soup, but it was such a relief. The hardest part of not being able to eat is knowing that you're not allowed to eat. As much as you want to, you physically aren't allowed to put a piece of food past your teeth. It's really great for seeing how much self control you have though! :P

The other interesting thing about my experience today was actually being able to talk! Let me tell you how fun it's been playing Charades with everyone for the past twelve days.... It's pretty funny at times, but now that I need to communicate things other than "pain medicine," "ice pack," and "water," it's starting to get really frustrating. I have too many things to say to keep writing them on my little white board. But anyway, my voice sounds pretty weird. Obviously my face is still swollen and things are still adjusting and settling. I have a little bit of a lisp at the moment but honestly it sounds cute. I reminded myself of my older brother when he was pre-pubescent and had a spreader in the roof of his mouth. Quite funny. :)

Here's my day twelve pictures and a video from the restaurant! It's a little hard to understand me, but gimme a break, I haven't talked in twelve days! :)

I'm finally starting to feel like myself. I'm getting my strength, energy, and morale back after a very trying twelve days. I'm excited to see where I go from here! :)

Day 6 through Day 11

So apparently I'm not quite as good at this blogging thing as I thought I'd be! Honestly, I've had absolutely zero energy and haven't been doing much of anything. I didn't even want to watch TV the first few days because I was so physically and emotionally exhausted. Showering was the biggest accomplishment of each day for the most part. Regardless, every day gets better.

Saturday (Day 9) was my first real outing since surgery. I went to my friend's son's 2nd birthday. I was only there for an hour and I was exhausted. Monday (Day 11) my fiancé took me to see a movie.

Here are some pictures from days 6-11:

Day 6:

 Day 7:

 Day 8:

 Day 9:

Day 10: Forgot to take pictures (oops)

Day 11: