- First and foremost, I could not have afforded this surgery if it wasn't covered by medical insurance.
- Secondly, I would never in a million years have gotten most of the bones in my face severed and moved around just for looks.
- Finally, it's not wrong that I wasn't happy with the way my overgrown upper jaw and my recessed lower jaw looked prior to surgery.
Before I got jaw surgery, I was under the impression that everyone would know that I needed the surgery for medical reasons and would be very understanding. However, this was not the case. Unfortunately, most people have no idea what jaw surgery is. It isn't very common because most people's jaws grow properly, and many people whose jaws grow abnormally do not experience any issues until they're middle-aged and don't want to go through such a major operation. Because it's not common, most people don't know anything about jaw surgery or it's implications. Also, most people don't care to figure out why others do the things they do; they just see what's on the surface and think what they want to think.
I know there are many people who have been keeping updated on my journey and have shown nothing but support, and I owe those people much gratitude. It was a very scary and character-building experience, and support from my family and friends was much-needed. However, there are also many people who have probably heard in passing, "Did you hear Stacy got surgery on her face? She doesn't even look like the same person," and of course, that puts a certain false impression in their heads immediately.
In addition to people who've been subject to gossip or simply extreme lack of information, there are also people who have negative opinions about the surgery, despite being fully informed. This is what I was not prepared for. To give you an idea of the extent of this issue, my fiancé had someone request that he postpone our wedding to take some time to figure out who the "new Stacy" is.
Ouch.
That situation opened my mind up fully to the possibilities of what people might think of me at this point. There are probably a lot of people who can't get past the fact that I look very different, and that I voluntarily underwent a surgery that would make me look like a different person. And I know it's hard to get past those ideas when you aren't experiencing it for yourself, like me, Corey, my family, and all the people close to me did. That is why I hope a lot of people are taking the time to read this, if not my whole blog, to get informed about this procedure and the effect it has on people's lives.
Here are some important points that I want to leave you with:
- I got jaw surgery because my upper jaw was overgrown and my lower jaw was consequently too far back, causing my tongue to obstruct my airway. My airway was 4mm wide before surgery, and is now about 11mm wide. (see picture below for comparison) While I wasn't having any serious issues now because of my jaw positioning, I would have been at a very high risk of developing sleep apnea and TMJ in my late adult years, had I not gotten the surgery. And who wants to go through major facial surgery at age 60?
- I was happy about the fact that the surgery would improve my facial aesthetics as well, because I did not particularly like the fact that I showed more gums than teeth when I smiled, and that I didn't have much of a jaw line. However, the aesthetic part of the surgery was just icing on the cake, not something I would've done without medical necessity.
- If you had the opportunity to change something you didn't like about yourself, you would. Don't lie to yourself. Women put on make up and do their hair everyday to improve their looks. Men, women, and children alike wear clothes that they feel make them look good. There are countless make up techniques designed to make cheek bones look more defined, eyes look bigger, foreheads look smaller, noses look smaller, eyelashes look longer, etc. etc. Women wear push-up bras, corsets, and heels to make their chest look bigger, their waist look smaller, and their legs look longer. Is there anything wrong with any of that? No. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful, and as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, physically or psychologically, there's nothing wrong with doing what you can to feel good about the way you look.
- I talked extensively with my fiancé and other loved ones before I decided to have surgery. I knew very well that my surgery would not only impact me, but my loved ones as well, especially my fiancé. He'd been in love with me (and my face) for three years, and he would have to live with the outcome of my surgery. However, he knew that it was important to me and my health, and he proposed to me knowing that I was going to have jaw surgery. We made the decision together, and he's been nothing but supportive. It took a few weeks for him to get used to my new face (mind you, I was un-swelling during those weeks), but he loves me for the woman I am, not the woman I look like.
- I have changed since my surgery, and I will continue to change throughout my life. As a result of my surgery, I can breathe better and have lost weight as well, which means I am getting much more active and healthy. I also have more confidence in myself, and I actually enjoy seeing pictures and videos of myself (oh no!). I'm no longer afraid to smile (well, I'm getting there). However, I still have an inferiority complex because of the years I spent knowing my face was not normal, and I doubt that will go away any time soon. So for anyone who is afraid I'm going to suddenly become really shallow and obsessed with myself, I really hope you know me better than that! If I'd gotten this surgery when I was thirteen when it was first mentioned to me, that may have been a bigger concern, but I'm very secure with who I am at this point in my life. I know who I am. And while there are a few small changes in my personality directly relating to my surgery (positive ones, might I add!), my face does not define who I am. My identity is not based in my appearance. I will continue to change and grow, all throughout my life, and that would've been so whether or not I had jaw surgery.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and if you still have any questions or reservations, please do not hesitate to talk to me! Sit down and have lunch with me; you'll see that I'm still the same old Stacy, just a little happier and healthier! I just bought a Pikachu hoodie the other day, I still love Chick Fil A, and I'll still drop anything for anyone that need me, no matter what I'm doing. See? Still me. :)
